THE CRAINIUM – A New Music for a New Kitchen (1998)

Review by: A.A
Album assigned by: Tristan Peterson

Nurse With Wound.
Trout Mask Replica era Beefheart.
Flowers of Romance era Public Image Ltd.
Hints of avant-prog and free jazz and perhaps musique concrète.
And dins of noisy cacophony.
Still fails to be more than mildly interesting for most of its duration.
Haha, the last track won’t even scrobble. Only 0:24.
I have a slight headache.
And a slighly sore throat.
* slightly
And power failures have twice interrupted my writing flow.
But I must go on and finish the review.
Thankfully the second time I had remembered to save.
For rethinking is tedious today.
When I was a child I spent many a lonely afternoon playing in the quiet upper storey of our house where no one lived.
(Save the ghost that lived in the ventilation duct.)
And so imagination had free sway.
Once it suited my fickle fancy to try and make tea using sunlight.
(Maybe herbal tea would help with my throat today.)
So I went down and pilfered some sugar. And milk. And tea leaves. And sneaked them upstairs.
And combining them all put the cup beneath the window of the vast dusty anteroom before The Room With The Toys and The Dark Locked Room With The Books and The Room With The Boiler.
(I remember it was the same year two airplanes would crash into two tall towers and I would be deprived of my cartoon-watching TV time for many subsequent days.)
(And the same year my father bought me a PC ­­­­­–­ I was overjoyed seeing it when I came back from an evening at Pizza Hut, recently become a thing in my country.)
The curious concoction, when I returned to it in an hour ­­­­­– about the duration of “A New Music For A New Kitchen” — certainly looked like tea. And smelled like tea. And was also warm like tea.
But was not tea.
[tl;dr: I would like this album if it were not both so spastic AND so cacophonous at the same time. As it is, however, I shall probably not be returning to it anytime soon!]