MY MORNING JACKET – My Morning Jacket Does Xmas Fiasco Style (2000)

Review by: Alex Alex
Album assigned by: Charly Saenz

For those from the, somehow still existing, non-Christian parts of the world, or the non-Christian inner regions of the bigger outer Christian ones, of the same fallen world again, «Christmas» is a (Christian) o-matsuri, which is the Japanese for “festival”, celebrating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ as he was crawling out, bloody and pig-faced from the menstrual crack of the Mother Earth. Understandably, we celebrate that with music – such as with the music from the album reviewed here.

The name of the album is “My Morning Jacket Does Christmas Fiasco Style” where “fiasco”, as my girlfriend who has been to Italy twice in the last five years a whole week each time, before the oil prices have risen to the skies and everyone has become a mystic, means, or rather, presumes, an interplay of words between “a failure” and a certain type of wine bottles used wherever in hell my girlfriend was travelling before the oil prices have risen to the skies, which interplay is absolutely meaningless if one is uneducated and/or sober.

In my country we do not wear jackets, especially in the mornings, and, for the Christmas, at least, “My Morning Sock” would seem a more fitting title for a band (hinting also at the everyday job-stress-unemployment problems: for the missing sock in question is so often a thing necessary to be found rather quickly in the morning, after a well-spent metaphysical night – so that a human being can put it on and proceed to the job dressed properly – as the male socks here in the countries Christian and partially West are the same as those often-misunderstood hijabs worn by beautiful ladies of the non-Christian (and the whole) East whose (Eastern ladies) beauty is never to be seen under them, same as I do not show the nails on my foot to you without a promise or for free.

So, “My Morning Sock Does Christmas” (“fiasco style” surely was added later, in haste, to avoid a possible lawsuit from Beavis and Butthead and Co) an album from the group completely unknown in Russia is the subject of this review. It’s a “psychedelic” one, “psychedelia” being a cheaper and ethically more affordable variety of cosplay, requiring no expensive silks and linens but only a certain state of mind, easily achievable with the usual Pink Floyd Hare Krishna mantra, and not even a printed rulebook is necessary. The album is rather short and, yes, it’s a Christmas album (the last song being an instrumental reprise of the third (Christmas) one being the proof of that, same as your ID is the proof you can buy alcohol in the shop to celebrate (Christmas) – the world is round, as we still erroneously think, and they are still trying to produce fine, rounded Christmas-like things with the help of the reprises (again) and everything is Christmas and fine  – until we learn that the world is  and has always been flat, falling into the void as the elephants are marching away.

BUT I DIGRESS.

The first song is a Christmas-themed song and it features the line “We are criminals that never break the law”. It is for the same reason that they have a Nick Cave cover on the album. They could not probably pick up a shittier song from Mr Cave but, criminals as they are,  they do not choose much – just grab and run away with what happens to be the worst possible song.  It’s not a crime in this rotten capitalist system to make a remake of some filler shit (in the context of Nick Cave works the song’s only purpose was to be the last song on the album, and the robbers are fully aware of that – still it does not diminish the fact that they have covered one of the worst songs – a deed as unnatural as Christmas itself).

The second one is titled “I Just Wanted to Say” and the singer here wants to say that he “just wanted to be just a little part of your cheer” – now that’s an outright lie, he just wanted to say that he is a criminal who never breaks the law – as he has already said that in the first song, and proved that by stealing the worst possible Nick Cave masterpiece because it was the closest thing to where that criminal in his criminal psychedelic universe was celebrating his Christmas.

The third one is “Xmas Time is Here Again” – this time we have a flashback like they do in thrillers or other such action movies – the flashback in the form of “she’s so pretty but I’m so young, when I’m sixteen I’m gonna have some fun” which basically again means cosplay because the dude in question is well beyond 30 otherwise he wouldn’t have given a damn about Christmas and reprises – we are understandably worried about the girl and the so-far-postponed fun but then she’s probably one of his friends – “ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh ahh” – that’s the real lyrics on the album, that’s probably her contribution, they have creative writing classes for that.

Ah, the fourth one is stolen from Nick Cave, I don’t even want to discuss Nick Cave here. As with any stolen thing a thief tries to wear it as it belongs to him so very specific (to say the least) intonations of Mr Cave’s singing are imitated with care – which act alone, presumably, adds the meaning to that, otherwise completely meaningless, theft.

“Santa Claus is Back in Town” is another cover, an Elvis Presley song. The idea here is if you cover a Presley song you automatically get classified so fuck me Santa Claus on the outskirts of the town if I review that song here at all.

And the last one “Xmas Time is Here Again” an instrumental version of the one under the same name, before. The idea here is that only cultured people can think of an instrumental version of a song, savages do not distinct between singing, playing, dancing, Christmas and My Morning Jacket.

Savages you are and savage your album is. Such a comic album shattering the Christmas symbols, an album on which they are not afraid to acknowledge them being criminals and only being afraid of capitalism, shattering Santa Claus who is Elvis, stealing worst song from a schizophrenic guy, making instrumental reprises of its own shit – shattering, shattering everything but what ends when the Christmas shatters?

THE END
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Author: tomymostalas

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